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Sunday, June 15

Road Trippin'

I'm still totally in awe of the title I chose for this post! It is so apt! I feel so clever!

Anyway, here goes....

He was just about to head home.

"Hey man, do you smoke up?"
"Yeah, cool. Is that what you guys are doing there?"
"You don't have to if you don't want to."
"No that's alright. I want to."

20 minutes later he was navigating his bike through the crowded streets, but before that...
A brief stop to grab some mint.

He gets off the bike and marches with very confident steps to the shop nearby and asks for some mint.
Almost immediately he swings around because he's not sure if he remembered to put the stand on his bike. Phew! Close call...

.... And then, his mind speaks!

"Mint in hand. Why the fuck are my legs so shaky? Wait, did I pay the guy? Crap! Okay, just reach out for your wallet... "
"err, where is it? Ah! Got it. Hee! The coins feel so weird on my numb palms. Wait! My palms are freaking numb! How the hell did that happen?"

"Okay, I can't get the fucking mint in my mouth, *$^&%^*%!!"
"Oh wait, my helmet's in the way! Hahaha!!"
"Dude, you better calm the fuck down. Everyone around you is looking right at you!"
"What??? Aaaahh!!"

"Wait! I don't think they are. It's just a hallucination, but you should stay calm anyway and not draw any attention."
"Okay, the chewing helps. Good move there man! I thought You/I were/was totally going to lose it."

"Yes! I'm back on my bike now. Hey! This feels so strange. Now before we start, there are a few groundrules we must go through..."
"Wait! I haven't started yet! Don't take off!"

"It's okay, I'm going to keep looking at the speedo and make sure I don't cross 35!"
"Oh crap! I forgot to look at the road. Heehee!"

"This feels so strange, I'm going to remain so focused on the road though. If I get caught in this state, people are bound to know I smoked some really good shit. God! I hope I don't get into an accident even if it isn't my fault. That way, when they run some tests they will detect marijuana and I'll be in trouble and be found guilty even if the accident was not my fault at all!"

.......... He used to talk to himself very often. A lot more than normal people normally did. He had a little voice inside his head that spoke to him and asked him many interesting questions.

He now felt as if the voice inside his head had just injected itself with ultra-strong caffeine, for the voice kept asking one question after another, without as much as a single pause for breath.

"Hey, do you feel like blowing a bubble with that gum you're chewing?"
"Shut up! I'm wearing a full-face helmet right now!"

"Hey, do you feel like giving some random person a lift?"

"Are we there yet?"
"How long is it going to take?"
"You're going to get screwed! Do you know that?"
"Why are matchstick heads black in colour?"
"When did you last clean the bike?"
"I hope you don't run over a dead rat on the road"
"Can I please listen to the Ipod? Stop the bike, I want to listen to some music!"
"All that chewing is driving me crazy!"
"Are you on the right gear?"
"The wind feels strange on my face, do you feel it too?"
"Hee! My sweaty palms feel all tingly because of the breeze!"
"Do you think you have a flat? I hope not!"
"Can I try speaking in different languages?"
"Can you take both your hands off the bike?"
"Can I call you, 'me' for a while and me, 'you'?
"Please let me listen to some music! Can I hum? Okay, I'm going to start singing in your head."

His mind was going to explode, he knew it. But how could he shut it up? He soon realised it was going to be physically impossible and therefore gave in to the charms of the robotic voice that blasted question after question like a smoking machine gun barrel.
Almost at once, the voice died down, as if finally realising that it did not have to struggle and therefore lost interest.

"Dude!! The road! Don't drift off!"
"Phew, thanks for that... So, the road then."
"Wait!! What is this road. Okay, I don't fucking remember which road this is. Am I supposed to be here? Where am I? Nothing seems familiar!"

"Okay, don't panic. Just keep riding till you find something you recognize."
"Crap! I'm coming to a turn. Where do I go? WHERE DO I GO???"

"Ah yes, I know this route, turn right... Phew!"

"Man! That was close, I hope I don't get lost again."
"Hah! I'm totally blogging about this."

The continuous repertoire of events happened sequentially, over and over again, every 2 minutes, as he kept drifting off to engage in new, confounding arguments with the self, about nothing of great importance. His eyes were glazed, blazed, and he was blitz'd right out of his skull.

Being high was awesome!

And in the end, everyone lived...

Okay, this story may be fiction............... Don't tell the cops anyway!


Blogger R said...

Brilliant read! Just two words - "Mind F***" (in a good way ofcourse) :)

Mon Jun 16, 11:17:00 PM  
Blogger Macadamia The Nut said...

When I go to reserve my room in the loony bin, I'll ask them to keep the adjacent room free for you.

I used to think I was bad.. schizophrenically so. You beat me hands down.


Thu Jun 19, 04:51:00 PM  
Blogger farustar said...


Tue Jul 01, 02:35:00 PM  
Blogger Ravik said...

Yup.....tat sure was a weird day!!!

Wed Oct 22, 04:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awsum read...This has happened a zillion times to me but the ride is mind f*** blowin :)

Tue Feb 10, 11:25:00 PM  

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