Short Story.... Part - III
If you haven't read the other parts, don't be stupid and read this first & challenge my pitiful writing style.. :P
Scroll down and read the other two parts if you already haven't...
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We met at one more of those innumerous Coffee Day's scattered strategically all around the city. And there was plain pandemonium with everyone talking at the same time...
Tanya was silent throughout though...
She didn't look one bit English and she barely spoke with a British accent... In fact, she hardly spoke at all. I tried to include the poor thing in our conversations but frankly it looked like nobody other than me really cared. Pretty soon, I'd forgotten bout the 'firangi' too as we caught up with good ol' times...
Limp arrived fashionably late (as he called it)...
Like it makes a difference when you're meeting friends!
"Man! I could hear you guys all the way from the road. Keep it down..."
"And who might this lovely lady be?" As he leaned over and offered his hand.
Collective gasps from all us guys as Tanya slowly extended her hand and shook his gingerly as Virgin made the introductions.
Or atleast that's what we'd all thought till we graduated from the same university a few years back...
And the morning after a very drunken graduation party shocked us all.
Limp got laid... Way before any of us. And hence, he'd earned this new respect from everyone. I don't think anybody had ever thought him gay after that...
I hadn't even wiped that smirk of my face watching the two when I heard Virgin bellow out loud...
"Hey guys! Check out that incredible bod on that chick in the red dress!"
And true to his description, she was stunning...
And blushing...
And obviously embarrassed...
And I felt this sudden urge to clout him hard on the head.
"Hey... That's 'J' over there. Isn't it? I'm not sure..."
I looked up again... It was definitely her. But she'd done something with her hair...
And her face...
And her... Chest??
My first thoughts were 'What the f**k was she thinking!?', which almost instantly changed to 'My God! She looks grotesque!'
I was pretty sure the same thought was running through everybody's mind...
Everybody... Except Virgin who not even for a second take his eyes off her new assets.
I silently chuckled to myself wondering whether I should let him know the authenticity of that enormous cleavage...
And I decided against it. I didn't like Virgin too much. I possibly couldn't care much about that dumb bitch either...
But I knew her by now.
Her approach was tactful. She'd pretend like she hadn't the slightest idea who the person might be and all of a sudden she'd act like a wave of memory just washed by her... This late reaction spurns joy from the other person... Come on! Everybody loves to be remembered...
Normally, two things happen after this;
1... She'd get up, hug the person and kiss the vacant air brushing past each cheek.
2... She'd flash a very large fake smile. (Which I couldn't stand the sight of, by the way.)
While Limp was still exchanging coy, flirtatious words with Tanya who was responding pretty well...
And BB sat talking business on the phone...
And I sat there playing some silly game on my mobile. I got stuck on that same bloody level every single time!!
"I got her number!!"
Virgin sounded like Santa Claus on Prozac... Memory still fails me as to how euphoric a person could get.
We left shortly after that...
I had to drop Limp off at work and we exchanged a few words on the way...
"Tanya is hot isn't she?"
"Yeah... She's pretty no doubt! Okay, I guess"
"Just okay? That's not what I saw back there all this while..."
"Alright! So, we were talking..."
"And ?"
"And Nothing!"
"Hmmm... If you say so."
"You know dude... You can always tell me."
"Alright... So, I think I might just like her."
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"Hey dude! We're all going for this party tonight! You HAVE to come... The organisers are flying in DJs from London man... I've heard them... They ROCK!"
"And don't worry about the entry man. I've got it all covered. I've got these passes from J."
And I hung up...
I made my mind up that very instant... I wasn't going to go.
I'd prefer grabbing a beer on the way back home from work and watch a movie rather than dance to the tunes of 'DJ's from London' along with Virgin...
And J...
And BB...
Limp was the only one I could decently tolerate. At times, I even envied him for being able to get along with both BB and Virgin so well.
"Chill... It's alright... I'll have a couple of beers for you..."
I didn't have an ounce of work that day...
And I just drove almost everybody insane asking them if they needed a hand at anything...
I paced up and down my cabin far more times than I'd like to keep count...
I drank water like a horse would...
I heard a faint beep as I stepped in and out of my office for the 'n'th time that night...
It was a message...
"**New Message - Virgin**" - flashed on my mobile screen...
'"**New Message - Virgin**" - flashed yet another time on the screen...
I exhaled... And wiped the fresh beads of sweat off my forehead...
I switched my mobile off...
I went to the restroom and splashed some water on my face...
And I looked up at the mirror...
I was smiling... A devilish grin...
And I wanted to punch the guy looking at me through the mirror...
I made my way to the car...
I took the longest route back home possible...
I kept thinking back on all the good times we all shared... The times with the guys, the times with J, the times that were good while they lasted...
The times... When I was genuinely happy and needed no artificial additive to lighten my mood...
The speedo on the car rose steadily and rapidly...
I still remembered how everything had changed...
Virgin meeting me and asking me to stay away from J...
When he requested me to treat her like shit and whereupon I followed and beat her up mercilessly every single night...
When she had every right to walk away from me...
When we arranged everything right from J's meeting in the café to Virgin's casual introduction...
It was all planned...
.....
But this wasn't...
I hurtled at 150 kilometres per hour onto the oncoming bright lights and quietly whispered...
"I'm coming..."
14 Comments:
Did you take that picture?
That was one interesting twist... madass.. :P
But why kill the narrator??
This is a good one :)
@ Joe - No way I could take that picture...
I would've & not lived to tell the tale.. :P
When I initially thought of the story, I wanted to make it a nice ending, but as I kept typing, things changed & I killed someone.. & when I got to that, I just decided to kill some more people..
Genocide intrigues me.. :)
& the narrator had to die coz he actually had no role left to play.. As simple as that sounds, its actually the messed up state he is in.. All the depression et al.. & its natural when the story finally ends, he doesn't want part in it anymore..
& btw, Thanks!!!
Damn good dude! But its eSpresso (not trying to be picky and point out the faults...lol!) I love the ending.....
@ Sowmiya - Thanks!! I noticed the error & it hath been corrected...
I really wouldn't care bout teeny insignificant errors noting that I wrote all this at 1:30 last night...
What I would care about though, is people leaving behind just a couple of lines as comments where I've sat & typed so much..
It just isn't fair..
oh! Did i make u cry? I'm sorry....Honestly its really good work!!! I mean it :)
@ Sowmiya - Cry?? Hahaha!!!
Neither do I break down easily nor do you possess the necessary requisite to upset a person to an extent where he/she might just have tears running down their cheeks...
So, you could just let your ego stop talking and experience the true inner beauty of the story & laud it's existence & how fabulous it would be if it were made a film one day...
& yes.. My ego is allowed to talk.. :)
Seriously, thanks!! However, I'm never writing another short story again!
Hey nice story... The profanity put me off in the beginning but it just seems to flow with the story.
The ending was kinda morbid though! Shocking and morbid :P You should turn this into a novel, give it more time for character and plot development. Although you might say that the punch is sustained better in a short story.
Oh and doesn't "a sight for sore eyes" mean somebody goodlooking? Sorry if I seem like a nitpicker but just wondering!
Hope this comment is long enough for your liking :)
@ Jan - Well.. Rarely is my blog graced by the presence a new visitor.. & especially one who is kind enough to leave behind a comment.. Its immaterial how long it is.. :D
Its just the usual blogging circle of friends who I expect to leave long, meaningful comments.. :P
Right you are about the punch being delivered best in a short story.. However, the idea of a novel is cliched coz there are already plenty of novels by Indian authors about similar isssues..
& Moreover, I have an issue too!! I can't stick around a character long enough to make a novel with it.. I need change! & I need it Fast! :)
& Thank God for nitpiking!! :P
I was wrong bout 'the sight for sore eyes'.. I don't know how I always assumed it meant something very ugly.. Actually, the phrase is referred to something ur relieved to see.. Thanks anyway.. :)
& do drop by again..
@arvind: Hmm., true.. "and they lived happily ever after" is not really a nice ending. :-S I thought I was the only mind-fcked guy around.. thank gawd., I have company :P
@jan: naaaaaaaaaaaaa.... no novel lady. I'm not that patient. I'll sleep on the 10th page of the most interesting novel. short stories are cool., they do the best delivery :)
scary...
i knew it...your a physcopathic murderer in the making...and you thought i was crazy?/ sniff sniff that story was beautifullll....you have now reached the highest point in the book of pl i admire most...includigna ll the neurotic paranoids and stinking drawfs wo think they are giants wearing exensive perfumes...
i liked the flolw of the whole thing...and hey i thought my stomach was the only abyss around..:p i kidna picturized the whole thing in my head...
great job old guy
@ Farah - That's all?? Scary?? That's it? When are you going to marvel the genuis behind the author.. Lol..
Just kidding.. But I just want you to know you're the current new record holder for the shortest scrap ever!! :P
@ Mr/Ms Anonymous -
Why, I'm really flattered to feature in your admiration book.. & I'm also most honoured to stand alongside the 'neurotic paranoids' & 'height confused dwarfs'... & thanks for that honest opinion about the writing...
& whoever you are, after reading the comment, I definitely do think you are scary.. :P
& although I have this strong doubt that you ARE Mehnaz.. I just want you to know that IF you are Mehnaz, the Mr./Ms. up there was 100% intentional.. :P
Cheers!
very good boy very good boy..really like the story..but very unnessacary killing the narrator..u vetti bastard
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